3.1.10

saturday




I leave for Paris terribly soon. Within hours. I am too nervous to sleep or breathe or think straight. I've felt nauseous all week. All month, to be honest. I've cut my hair, packed my things, and left matters vague and unresolved. All my life I've wanted to go to France. And now that I am, my mind is horribly confused. Fraying at the seams. Not quite on the verge of a nervous breakdown, but close. So quite naturally, I turned to a movie that has never failed me. Sabrina. I will never know how many times I've seen this film. Despite wearing out two VHS copies and just recently buying a second DVD, watching it this afternoon while packing seemed different. I've spent many a summer night falling asleep to "Isn't It Romantic" drifting through the garden into the Larrabee tennis courts. And still, today seemed different. I feel exactly in her situation. Granted, I am not a chauffeur's daughter, I do not live above a garage, and I am not going to culinary school- but there are similarities. I'm certain of that.

Goodnight dear friends. I'll see you soon.





30 comments:

  1. bon voyage, Paris will treat you nice, I'm pretty sure.

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  2. best of luck my dear, try not to worry too much, theres nothing you do that you cant un-do!

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  3. Hi, I'm Lila, i have been reading your blog since several months now ! i live in Paris, near Belleville and les Buttes Chaumont (if you know the place)and i'm in khâgne to prepare l'école normale supérieure, so i'm pretty busy with my study but i would be delighted to show you a little of my favorite places in Paris !
    hope you will enjoy the city !
    see you soon maybe !

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  4. paris will be marvelous! leaving a place you call home is always bittersweet and what you are feeling I think is the fear of the unknown... I have often felt that tingling fear! enjoy Paris... you will look back and always remember this! :)

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  5. i felt the same way on my second trip to Paris. even though i wasn't leaving my family (they were coming with me), i wouldn't be gone for very long, and i could still connect with friends via facebook, there was something in my gut that was unsettling. despite being of french ancestry (second generation american) and speaking the language, i was still uncomfortable.

    i decided it was most likely that i cared too much of what parisians thought of me. so i decided to, pardon my language, fuck it, and acted the part of the curious child. suddenly, everything was shiny and new and sweet. i had way more fun gazing at the sky or at art or at buildings than making sure i acted proper or sophisticated or bored, or however you're supposed to act.

    i hope this helps. yes, it may be hard at first, but that's okay. you won't know until you try.

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  6. I've been a follower for a while but I just wanted to say, try not to worry, I'm sure your're trip will be great. I get anxiety a lot so I understand your worries, but sometimes the fear we have doesn't amount to what we experience when it passes :) xxx

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  7. have a great trip! i was also very nervous on my trip to that city. its big and different, but also unbelievably beautiful. there is so many places to explore, so just do the things you know youll love, and you'll relax xx

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  8. oh my, all i've ever wanted to do is go to paris as well. please allow me to live vicariously through you and return with many photos and stories. breathe deep, it will be amazing.

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  9. "Bonjour, Paris!"

    I watch the same movie before I go to Paris. Before the first time I went, I was terrified, because it is so big, but when I go there, it was such a magical and warm place that that anxiety instantly vanished.

    My advice is to go slow and just let the Parisian life just soak right in. I know you will love it. I can't think of one person in my life who dislikes Paris. Have the time of your life!

    If you're in London, let me know! I would love to meet up. Your blog is wonderful! Can't wait for your pictures of Paris!

    Natalie xx
    (aka The Wandering Writer)

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  10. Chin up buttercup, I'm sure it will all be so worth it in the end ;)

    What an exciting way to begin a new year/decade, enjoy!

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  11. i feel happy for you...and jealous too...

    my eyes are looking at you with admiration....

    i've never been to europe...

    please give my regards to camus..
    walk the parisan streets with rilke...drink coffee with godard...

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  12. I have never seen this movie, but it looks good.
    Good luck in Paris! I wish I could go. I have been dying to go since I was 10.

    PS I really like your blog!

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  13. You're probably already in Paris by now, but in any case: the jitters are totally normal, and you're going to have the most amazing time. Not going abroad in college is one of my biggest regrets!

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  14. Hello there:) I suppose by the time you get this you'll be in Paris having lovely times. I dream of Paris and sometimes I dream of Sabrina.

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  15. i feel happy for you...and jealous too...


    beyonce video

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  16. Oh, I understand. Paris was her escape, too! She came back as a new person.I hope you have a wonderful time in France, dear!

    x
    Jess.

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  17. Ah, Sabrina is one of my favorite movies ever. Just keep focused on how great she felt after she fell in love with Paris. It is terribly difficult to not fall in love with Paris. Good luck.

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  18. hiya,

    i'm pretty sure that i've left a similar comment on your blog somewhere before, but what the heck, i'll try again.

    i've followed your blog for some time now, and it goes without saying that I think that you're a pretty neat gal! i'm from new york too, but moved to paris about two years ago. i'd love to have a chance to get a cafe or catch an oldie from one of the action cinemas or velib around st. germain or just sit in front of the pompidou wit ya. paris can really be tough to settle down in at first, but it really is a beautiful city with hidden treasures just waiting to be discovered. let me know if that sounds tempting at all! odsohn@gmail.com.

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  19. I'm pretty sure that you're going to live the expireince of your life in Paris.
    Have a nice trip!
    I hope to be there at the end of the year...
    I'm waiting for your firsts impressions.
    Good luck!

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  20. I absolutely love Sabrina. It's my personal favorite :) I know how you feel, most big events in my life have made me nauseous. I think its swell and can't wait to read more about Paris!

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  21. Love this movie!

    Lovely blog!

    colormenana.blogspot.com

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  22. oh i do hope you have the loveliest time.

    this past summer was my first time out of the country & one of the cities i was blessed enough to visit was paris. the night before i could hardly sleep & didn't think the day was actually there.

    i hope your time there is filled with many adventures & is absolutely magical. & do stop at one of the many crepe stands for a nutella crepe. it's the most delicious thing i've ever tasted.
    xx

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  23. it must be the worst feeling, but I think it's even worse for those that you leave behind. so worry not, you'll be missed! and I'm looking forward to your updates from Paris :)

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  24. Aaah Sabrina, one of my all time favorites! If only I could get my eyebrows to look like audrey's they are so fabulous!!!!! I always wanted to go to Paris for culinary school like her. But have fun I love Paris. Check out my blog sometime...it's brand new!

    -Erin

    http://ashesoflaughter.blogspot.com/

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  25. that's so weird! i just read your blog for the first time today and you have a Sabrina post! i just did a post this very morning on that wonderful film!

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  26. great movie, wonderful woman <3
    i'm getting a portrait tattoo of her in a gown (from Sabrina) on my left shoulder blade in a couple weeks!

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  27. I just stumbled upon (not in the automated, new-fangled sense, but in the lovely old fashioned manner that you find a treasure in the back of a shoebox) your blog; I have fallen in love. Paris is my favourite city and your photographs capture what i like about it superbly!

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